And the Oscar for laziest film goes to...

Right towards the bottom of the credits for The Departed, it says 'based on the film Infernal Affairs'. Based on? BASED ON?

Scorcese has taken the idea, a significant number of scenes, and even some dialogue from one of the best Hong Kong films of recent years and, in the great Hollywood tradition of such recent gems as The Italian Job and Taxi, made it significantly worse.

The characterisation is limp, the increased level of violence is entirely unnecessary, scenes that make sense in Infernal Affairs suddenly make no sense at all. The whole business of the envelope, a significant part of the plot handled with reasonable subtlety in the Hong Kong original, is signalled in The Departed by what was fantastically characterised in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang as one of those 'LOOK AT THIS, IT MAY SEEM INSIGNIFICANT BUT IT'S IMPORTANT LATER' moments. Then, just in case we didn't notice this glaringly clumsy piece of dialogue and its obvious importance, we are shown close-ups of the envelope about another fifteen times. Are American audiences really that stupid?

While I suppose it's admirable that the film isn't set in either NY or LA, it is not an exaggeration to say that Boston is no Hong Kong. Shots of scenery, or rooftop scenes, that worked so well in the original just highlight what a poor imitation Scorcese's offering is. The loss of the Buddhist slant of a punishing loss of identity leaves The Departed with about as much underlying theme as another of Mark Wahlberg's recent offerings, 'Four Brothers', whose main idea seems to be that revenge may not always be effective, but this problem can be solved by simply killing a lot more people.

Next, the additions. Why the microprocessors and the Chinese? Utterly pointless, except for apparently providing Jack Nicholson's character with an excuse for some more oh-so-sophisticated-and-ironic racism. Why the unnecessary 'happy ending'? It seems Hollywood still hasn't grown out of this particular habit. Admittedly, both Baldwin and Wahlberg have some quite good lines, although the latter relies on a certain level of playground 'ooh, look, he said a naughty word' humour.

With such a promising cast, is there really such a dearth of writing talent in Hollywood that Sheen, Nicholson, Baldwin, Wahlberg et al are reduced to lowering themselves to this unworthy reproduction of a film that was undoubtedly made for a fraction of the money? If The Departed wins either of the Oscars it's now the favourite to collect, I sincerely hope that the team from Infernal Affairs get to share the podium. It would only be fair: after all, they did it first, and they did it better.