Absolutely no excuse I know, but...

1) http://www.unu.edu/publications/briefs/index.html

2) http://allsports.jp/photo/00000468_000000027515_00000001970377.html (You may need to click on this link twice to stop it from redirecting)

3) This link might work a bit better... http://tm2008eng.allsports.jp/photo/cart_photo_detail.php?pid=468&aid=27515&phid=1970377&logoshow=true

A little light relief

CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years

LANGLEY, VA-The most crucial passages of U.S. intelligence have been emphasized with indelible black highlighters.

Hur hur hur. I particularly like the overenthusiasm idea...

No depth too low...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_7140000/newsid_7140800/7140800.stm?bw=bb&mp=wm&asb=1&news=1&bbcws=1 (See at 1:58)

What's on earth is he trying to communicate? "I may be Bush's poodle but he's got two stupid-looking terriers as soul mates too?" What an absolute embarrassment. And from such a supposed spin-master too. Also fascinating that Bush is finding it almost physically painful to remember his excruciatingly simple lines. Same goes for the plywood wife and daughters.

Stilettos and chihuahuas (sounds like a good recipe...)

Back to the far-too-accessible-from-Tokyo mountain for a bit of a run today. Overtook plenty of little rat dogs and women in high-heeled boots (no little rat dogs in high-heeled boots I don't think but I wouldn't be that surprised). I'm half expecting it to be the same on marathon day itself... Also, nice to see Fuji looming in the distance and know that I've conquered it. And don't need to do so again.

I'd always suspected...

...but now it's official. Japanese 'elite' university students less intelligent than chimpanzees. (Probably marginally better at karaoke though, and about equal on Dance Dance Revolution).

Antarctic jaunt

Some of the passengers from the Explorer (Icebergs in the Antarctic - how unexpected! And they assured us the ship was unsinkable...) claimed they had "lost everything". No they most certainly did not! They weren't refugees fleeing with all of their worldly possessions. They had paid $8,000+ per cabin for an adventurous holiday. They may have lost a camera and some clothes, but to be honest (and after all there were no injuries, let alone fatalities) maybe next year they should go on a cruise somewhere less challenging, like the Med. Seriously, though... With the increasing trend for more 'extreme' holidays there will surely be more and more people going for a jolly in places they really shouldn't be. I wonder who paid for the rescue - I hope it was the insurance company rather than the Chilean taxpayer.

And maybe I'm just a little bit jealous - I can't imagine being on the boat itself was terribly interesting, but they had a real opportunity to demonstrate their good old human spirit... And without having to survive by eating seal and penguin like that nice Ken Branagh did.

Gender apartheid and the world's least subtle advertising (not necessarily connected...)

Lunch today provided me with another opportunity to observe one of the stranger aspects of Japanese restaurants/cafes/bars: the frequent gender disparity. In contrast to the chicken-on-as-stick/beer joints that are entirely full of be-suited men after work (so, from no earlier than 8pm), if you go to a cafe or bar on a weekday before about 8pm, it will be ENTIRELY FULL OF WOMEN. Just as I'm not sure where all the men are hiding (presumably being famously inefficient at the office), I'm not sure what these women do - plenty of them certainly don't look like they have a job. Well, I suppose if you've completed the first few stages of the typical Japanese Female Life Strategy (find good job in order to find good mate, get married, take early retirement [before 30 - even most traders would be happy with that I reckon]) then maybe you don't have anything other to do than be a Lady Who Lunches. Until later in the afternoon, when you become a Lady Who Goes For Coffee. This is indeed a strangely pre-political-correctness society. However, there are no great protests going on, no burning of expensive and fashionable undergarments, not even any significant feminist movement. (Yet...?)

In an almost certainly unrelated but nonetheless peculiar aspect of Japanese life, the one-year contract Softbank (mobile phone company) had with Cameron Diaz has just ended, and she has been replaced by Snoopy. Equally irrelevant, although a darn sight less creepy to see on a five-storey-high poster - Miss Diaz's nose is VERY strange. This ad campaign was a classic example of the unbelievable power of celebrity in Japanese branding. In some of the posters, she wasn't even holding a mobile phone, she was just wearing very bad clothes and associating her face with the brand... Whichever braindead advertising "creative" took home a paypacket in return for the campaign should be sacked. Or maybe not - it was probably very successful. That ridiculous bit in Lost in Translation with the whiskey ad isn't far wrong - Tommy Lee Jones is currently advertising canned coffee by just looking very sulky (something which comes naturally to him of course), and Richard Gere was briefly on posters for the wonderfully named "Dandy House", a men's Este company (facials etc, although presumably his face is no longer made of skin and so doesn't require that kind of service...)

Rrrrrrrrrrright, back to revision for the Inevitable Japanese Test - less than a week to go now.

Other People = Dangerous

[Disclaimer: I very, very much like living in Japan, which is a beautiful and inspiring country; this is at least partially because my friends are not IDIOTS like, for example, Tokyo Governor Shintaro Ishihara or the vast majority of Japanese politicians]

Today Japan began a new policy of requiring fingerprints and photographs from all foreigners entering the country, including those with residency rights. (But excluding diplomats, which has been a good enough loophole for terrorists elsewhere in the past...) In a country the institutional racism of which makes the Bad Old Days of British policing look like a diversity-themed children's picnic, it is worth remembering that Japan is one of the few countries in the world with the glorious distinction of being a net exporter of terrorism.

Not only have all of the numerous political assassinations and occasional acts of domestic terror in the past six decades been carried out by Japanese citizens (including of course the Tokyo sarin attack, the only terrorist incident to have ever successfully used any kind of WMD), but the Japanese Red Army merrily spent the 1970s and 1980s hijacking, bombing, and murdering their way around the world; including the massacre at Tel Aviv's Lod Airport in 1974, which was carried out 'on behalf of' the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine.

This is also a country where the JAPANESE murderer of a FOREIGN language teacher can escape, without wearing shoes, from a significant number of police (and still be evading capture months later). I suppose one argument for harrassing everyone at the border could be that the police are far too incompetent to do anything once any potential terrorists have already entered the country.

If we perform the marvelous I-can't-see-what's-right-in-front-of-my-face-because-I'd-rather-not act (so beloved in Japan) in order to ignore the all-pervasive power of Japanese organised crime in the shape of the Yakuza, then it would be possible to suggest that foreigners made a significant contribution to crime in Japan. And, let's not forget, it's not foreigners who are cutting off their mother's head and carrying it around in a sports bag.

Phew... Rant over!

Hachijojima Photos

It's got everything, from the typhoon and the derelict hotel to the stinky volcano island and the helicopter... A picture paints 1,000 words, so here are 29,000 words to keep you going...

Hachijojima

I'm clearly just not cut out for this blogging lark

My laptop committed ritual suicide at the shame of being taken into exile on Hachijojima, and its replacement has only just arrived, complete with the shiny confusion of Windows Vista to mess around with.

Work at UNU is very interesting, as is being within the UN system (even if only on the periphery). The most bizarre aspects so far have been the mandatory security training (don't play with landmines, don't let your convoy get hijacked, etc. - all of which seem especially ridiculous in Tokyo), and the UN Day celebrations, including a sampling of WFP fortified biscuits (really quite tasty):

and refugee porridge (absolutely disgusting). Also had a chance to sing happy birthday to the UN - extremely surreal. Didn't eat any of the cake I'm afraid, but here it is:

While the Cat's away...

So... Homestaymum set off this morning for a two-day trip to Tokyo, leaving me in the capable hands of Homestaydad. The only problem is, he Can't Do Food, so tonight I went to Homestaydad's cousin's house (around the corner - this is a SMALL island) for dinner. This swiftly became drinking and discussing his opinion on how the end of the arms trade would generally improve the world. Just as I thought I might be about to head home, we went next door to visit a friend of his, precipitating more drinking and a looooong conversation about the imminent privatisation of the Japanese postal service. At the next point that I thought the night might be drawing to a close we adjourned to the local hostess bar - Hachijo must have more bars per head than practically anywhere else in the world. Songs were sung (in English and Japanese, by Japanese and English people - bearing in mind there are a maximum of 4 Westerners on Hachijo, and I've been informed this is a comprehensive total), more drinks were drunk; and finally we headed home when it became apparent that Homestaydad's cousin could no longer be effectively woken up. All in all an interesting night! The idea of paying such a premium for drinks in order to receive flirting as a bonus seems decidedly strange as an industry, but after all I'm here to observe and not to judge...

I'm never going to mock the weather again (probably)

This picture's from the day before yesterday, which is why I was able to take it at all...

Went for a drive yesterday morning to see the waves before the worst hit, but taking photos outside the car was practically impossible as the wind was just too strong to stand still. Also enjoyed 6 hours without power (and with shutters over the windows - rather dark). Homestaydad retreated to the car (outside, in a typhoon) because he claimed he couldn't stand being inside with no aircon. Oh, and the car has a TV too.

Woke up this morning to a level of wind noise pleasantly remeniscent of sailing, not the house-shaking, typhoon-shutter-slamming, banshee wail of yesterday. The disaster warning radio is still updating us every so often, but the rain has stopped and we're certainly out of the worst of it now.

Not sure this really does justice to the noise or force, but it gives a bit of an idea...

A light breeze

All going very well on the island - I've already started bumping into people I've met the previous day, demonstrating just what a small small place this is. Went for a run up (and round) Mount Fuji. Hachijo Fuji that is, smaller than the Honshu version by a factor of about 5, but the view here is probably better if you ask me. There's a field up at the top where a herd of Friesians and Holsteins are at work producing delicious milk. They're not milking themselves, but you know what I mean... The local alcohol is indeed delicious, the stinky fish product is indeed stinky (should have guessed that I suppose).

Today's excitement is the visit of Fitoh, "Beautiful Flower" - who names these things?! Should be up to a blustery Force 13+ this afternoon. Went out earlier (in the car, walking not possible) to take some photos of the waves, but it was pretty much too windy to hold up the stupid camera. Will try again when it's gone past, as the waves should persist for a while I suppose... The typhoon shutters are shut, the power is currently still running, and so there's nothing for it today but to sit indoors and study, accompanied by the howling of the wind.

H.O.T.

I'd assumed it was just the unbearably hot Summer that we'd been promised (in a characteristically melodramatic fashion) for the past few months. However, apparently yesterday was the hottest day in Japan ever, and twelve people died from heatstroke. Tokyo has been in the high 30s for a few days now (instead of the low-to-mid 30s) and I honestly don't think it's that different. But what do I know, I wear a t-shirt in the middle of winter so I'm obviously unqualified to talk about temperature.

Very relieved to have the final school exam out of the way after a looooooooooooong 11 months of constant testing. It's like being... well, in school I guess. I now know considerably more about Taiwan and Korea than I did last September, and I think I may even have accidentally picked up some Japanese grammar along the way.

Planning continues for my one-month exile to the Australia-of-Japan next month. I now have a list of what I'm told is ALL of the exciting things on Hachijo (geothermal powerplant included) and two weeks tomorrow I can start ticking them off. It's going to be very strange being in such a resolutely un-'Tokyo' place, but I'm certainly not complaining because that's specifically what I had in mind. Am hoping to be able to go along on a proper commercial fishing trip when I'm there, with any luck not to anywhere that will involve being captured by the Russians.

Oh dear, too busy actually DOING things

Er... rode my bike a around a lot, climbed a few more of the Hundred Famous Mountains, surfed the end of the typhoon, climbed Fuji, watched a lot of fireworks (23,000 apparently), confirmed that I'll be spending September here (most fun if you zoom out; also, the island's most famous product is a type of salted fish that's basically called 'stinky' in Japanese - can't wait!) and October-April here. Just witnessing Abe getting a drubbing in the Upper House elections, but I refuse to believe that'll change anything.

Will honestly try to update this a bit more frequently on the off-chance there's still anyone out there...

From the Taker of the Clouds to the Hawk's Nest

Two-day hike was the next adventure on the cards, finally getting up to over 2k, and staying in a hut overnight. The hut was very pleasant indeed, although I could have done without the Japanese hikers' desire to get up at 04:45... The first day was rather more challenging than planned, when the temporary loss of the path prompted a 45-minute-plus scramble up a very steep slope, gripping onto one tree after another. I promise never to complain about steps ever again.

Kumotoriyama

Kurayami Matsuri

The most atmospheric, and noisiest, festival I've seen so far. A very, very large taiko drum and a whole set of 1200kg+ portable shrines made for a memorable, and memorably deafening spectacle. The videos just can't do it justice I'm afraid. Unless maybe you turn the volume up to maximum and put your head right next to the speaker...

Kurayami Matsuri

Jitensha Adventure II

Cycled from home to the sea (well, Tokyo Bay) and back. The ruthless management of nature means that on the river-side of the huge flood-defence banks there are plenty of golf courses, baseball fields etc. Confirmed that Tokyo is better than Kanagawa (of course). Also, the view got steadily worse and worse, so turning round was certainly a relief...

Jitensha Adventure II

Hojo Godai Festival, Odawara

What happens if most of the inhabitants of a reasonably-sized town dress up in Shogunate-era costume and parade around. Not sure what was my favourite, although the musketeers certainly had the best costumes, and the best boys' toys of course...

Hojo Godai Matsuri

Tanzawasan

The following day headed to Tanzawasan in an attempt to shake off the infirm by choosing a slightly more challenging hike. However, it was still swarming with the over-60s, generally kitted out in gaiters, fleeces and all. Interesting 'ladders', which wouldn't have been much fun if it had been wet.

Tanzawasan